“To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

I can go back and look at a turning point in my career when I realized I went from being a manager to being a leader. It was 9-11 in New York City. On this date, as you know all hell broke loose in NYC and myself and my crew were working within miles of the Twin Towers that were attacked. We could see them smoking and then collapsing before our eyes. News was shared frantically, streets cleared out, schools closed and what to do about our workday became totally unclear.

I had called my supervisor at the time and asked what I should do about the staff, should I allow them to go (roads and bridges were closing) and it was still early in the day. He told me to just do what I thought was right. I allowed everyone to go home. I realized that not only had my boss been a real leader in the fact that, instead of making the decision for me, he allowed me the space to grow.

I guess to better define it, it was not about policy but about values and caring for people. I was no longer afraid to make the decisions I felt was right, right for the people on my teams in addition to the clients and other project team needs.

As I continue to work on projects that are technically complex and certainly need good management processes, I realize nothing gets done without people. Whenever I am challenged, I do remind myself, its people first.

“People follow leaders by choice. Without trust, at best you get compliance.” – Jesse Lyn Stoner

As women in this industry, this is one we cannot do well without. It really should be a given for all. I learned early on that I did not have the same “shade” or cover that men in my position do. I was, for a long time, the only female Resident Engineer in the NYC water construction field. I came to understand how I was being watched and talked about much more closely than my male peers. I am sure this is true with any person in the minority, you are challenged to be better so that you don’t ruin it for those coming behind you. I had a coffee mug once with the quote I believe came from Charlotte Witton, “Whatever women do, they must do twice as good as men to be considered half as good. Luckily this is not difficult” This was so true.

What having no shade really meant, besides doing a job twice as well, I also had to be totally honest with my clients, staff, contractors, etc. and maintain my integrity, because surely my reputation would precede me.

But this also made me a better leader, people could trust me. As a supervisor as well as in my client service, having honest conversations, no matter how difficult some were, always resulted in a positive outcome. And believe me I have been around long enough to be getting the feedback on the results of my efforts and they are mostly positive.

“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” – Nelson Mandela

Education and learning that build and inform you are key. Degrees and Certifications certainly help depending on career plans but are not the only type of investment you can, or should be making. Whether it was reading about leadership and how to achieve your goals, finding mentors and sponsors. I would observe others in leadership and be curious. I would spend the time to learn.

Over the years, I have always been open to listening and grabbing opportunities. My inclination has always been before I made a move in my career was to “read about and study it first”. When I started a new Marketing position, believe it or not, I picked up and read “Marketing for Dummies”. When I picked up that book I also picked up “Nice Girls don’t get the Corner Office” by Lois P. Frankel. An amazing and “on point” book. As it turned out Dr. Frankel had a coaching practice not far from where I lived at the time, so I signed up for some professional coaching with her associate at the time, Dr. Pam Erhardt (which later when I mentioned to my employer, they ended up paying for!) This coaching was also pivotal for me. It was the first time I would go through a 360 review and learn how others perceived me. Plus, I gained many tools for communicating more effectively and checking some powerful negative self-talk spirals I would get myself in.

Joining NAWIC was also an investment I made in myself, somewhat unknowingly. When I first joined in 2005, I was well on my way in my career. I was an executive and a project manager – doing business development as well as overseeing people and projects.

An associate of mine noted that NAWIC would not be an association that would help me in my career and that I should spend time elsewhere. At the time, I looked at her and said, “maybe not but other women do need NAWIC and I believe I need to be involved for them”. However, the return on my investment for me has multiplied. Certainly, having served at so many levels in NAWIC, I hope to have had a positive impact on the organization, but in the end, it is myself who has gained both personally and professionally. I have attended many a workshop at many conferences that I seem to always learn something new. I meet incredible women who inspire me and teach me. The amazing support I felt when I would run for election and then as I served, priceless! I grew as a leader, and I continue to grow.

And this past year I was honored to be listed with the “Construction power 100” in New York City and Both NAWIC and Jacobs supported me within the publication. How awesome is that!

“Vulnerability is not winning or losing; its having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; its our greatest measure of courage”. – Brene’ Brown

In her book “Dare to Lead”, Brene Brown talks about “embracing the suck” where she discusses being vulnerable. I also heard this almost simultaneously during my reading, on a radio program from a Gold Star daughter about her late father who assisted her in physical training for her sport and told her that the only way to gain is to “embrace the suck”. When I think about this, it is really just being open to being wrong at times; or putting in the extra time/effort it takes to swallow pride, take the pain points and move forward.

In NAWIC this lesson came when losing an election. Or not getting consensus on an idea I had, so it did not get accepted. At work, that could mean I did not get a position I applied for. However, each of these events came with lessons and other doors that were there to be opened. Those opportunities that do come our way show up because we were able to put ourselves out there; embrace the bad with the good. Be willing to fail as well as succeed.

“I am comfortable in leadership.” – Doreen Bartoldus

I noted this at my closing remarks at Annual Conference last year. I did point out that I have some time in the world that helps account for that (and grey hairs to prove it)! I have been comfortable with being uncomfortable and continue my journey.

I am very proud of the fact that NAWIC now has its own Leadership Academy, something I was not alone in establishing but I have definitely kept in the forefront of our planning for many years. I have joined the first Cohort and, as I write this am halfway through the course.

It has been an amazing experience so far. As expected, I continue to learn from and share with so many other amazing women. We are focused on Finding our Strengths, understanding what it means to have Mentors vs Sponsors and how we utilize Emotional Intelligence – which are just a few of the subjects we have touched on. What is also so valuable is the network we are developing within our Cohort as we get to know each other and support each other. NAWIC will be continuing to offer the Leadership Academy a couple of times a year. This is one great place for you to get much of the learning you can use – for YOU .

As I have always expected, my journey of leadership continues. Although I have now moved on to IPP and eventually a PNP. I still have much to do and be, for NAWIC, for my family and my work associates. I hope to teach, mentor and sponsor wherever I can and continue to learn and share knowledge along the way.

I have been a mom, stepmom, spouse, sibling, a teacher, a coach, an engineer, a manager, a board member, and a board chair (president). I have held many types of positions over the years at the several companies that I worked for and associations I have participated In.

In the end, I really hope that I can be called a true Leader, I may never be done. But I do hope you have been encouraged to join me on the journey!